Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Take two of these pills, get plenty of rest, and DON'T TOUCH THE FLOWERS.

Mercy Hospital planted some lovely flowers right outside their main entrance a few weeks ago. There's nothing like some cheerful little violets pansies to lift the spirits of our sick and infirm.

Unless those flowers are drenched in pesticides. As these are.

The little sign says "CAUTION. Pesticide Application. Keep off [buster symbol] until 5/19."

This is the kind of profit-maximizing synergy we like to see in the modern health care industry: Mercy Hospital has got their landscapers drumming up business for the oncologists.

[EDIT 5/24: Correction: these are pansies, according to Dr. Turbo. Violets do not get planted in front of hospitals because they have been shown to have a greater effect than placebo flowers in lowering the spirits of the sick and infirm.]


Turboglacier said...

That's hilarious.

Not to be too picky, but I'm pretty sure those are pansies, not violets. In fact, they look an awful lot like the pansies which were stolen off our front porch last week! And we're just two blocks from Mercy! It's extremely suspicious...

C Neal said...

You're probably right. I'm no botanist - you could tell me that these were flowering elephant gourds and I would probably believe you. I'll edit my original post based on your trusted credibility, and based on the fact that drenching "pansies" is funny... I mean, if you're cruel.